Summer Missions?! - NOT me!
I'm on staff with Cru and many students think that means I have a perfect relationship with Jesus and have loved everything "Cru" from the day I saw a CCC table in the student center. NOT TRUE.When I first heard of Campus Crusade for Christ (CCC), there was nothing about the title or the idea of the title that made me want to be involved except "Christ", but I was NOT about reaching people and wasn't even sure what a crusade was.
"As I learned more about the organization and more about God's mission through Jesus Christ, the Holy Spirit slowly but surely opened my eyes and aligned my heart to His heart."
Have His Heart?! - Not Me!As a young freshman, I loved Jesus, enjoyed learning the stories in the scriptures, and praying in my head all day long, but I never truly gave thought to becoming more like Him until college. I thought I could be "me" with a God patch on my sleeve and fit into His kingdom business. The reality is, I was using God and not letting Him use me.DO, GIVE, GO, SAY?! - Not Me!The consumer mentality I had of the Christian faith as a student put me in some difficult positions when I started to get involved with Cru in college. (Warning- Embarrassing confession ahead) I thought Cru would be an extra patch on my jacket of accomplishments. Now, not only did I attend church, read my Bible, and pray, but I was even in a Bible study at school! Go me! -__- Little did I know, Cru wasn't about making the Christian feel good about himself or herself. Cru was about being part of God's great mission to win the lost into His loving family, build them up in their relationships with Him and each other, and then send them to continue the mission! WHAT?! I thought I just signed up for Bible Study! :/
"The reality is, I was using God and not letting Him use me."
Summer Missions?! - Not Me!When I first heard of Cru "Summer Projects" (now Summer Missions), I was NOT interested because it didn't align with my plans for my life.
- I needed to work over the summer.
- My parents helped with tuition but I covered cost of living, including housing all on my own. Summers needed to be spent working and saving every penny. (sigh)
- I just don't FEEL called to spend a summer in another location talking about Jesus.
- I honestly didn't feel a heavy burden for any particular people. My heart wasn't like God's but I loved Him! (smh)
- I refuse to beg people for money.
- Raising financial support was not at all attractive. My family is Puerto Rican and from the Bronx... money is not to spare or give away except to the church. If we felt like we had extra, we would give... and my dad always felt we had extra, but he is a special case right? Whenever he gave extra, our family made sacrifices. I just knew people wouldn't give to me and I didn't want to do that to their families. (oiy)
These reasons and more kept me from really living out God's plan for my life in college. Still, God is sovereign and not at all surprised that I didn't go on mission in college! I didn't screw up His plans!Staff Life Changes?! - Not me!As a new staff with Cru, I was required to go on a summer mission trip during one of the most difficult years of my life and still, as staff, I didn't want to go!
"God, I go to college students all day everyday, why do I need to go elsewhere when I should have a break?!"
Yup, as staff, I was still not feelin' summer missions and I sounded like that! (don't judge me, we are all rebellious sinners)But God...God used that summer to grab my heart and start the alignment process. Scriptures often refer to Jesus looking at a crowd or a person and having compassion but I didn't... at least not enough to sacrifice financial stability, freedom, or pride.
I may not have had a heart for God's people, but God had a heart for me.
I believe that summer God worked... not so much for the ones I went to as it was for me. God is sovereign and good and He withholds no good thing from those who walk uprightly. (Psalm 84:11) That summer, I obeyed God. That's it. I just went. Not because it felt good or because I had a heart. I didn't even go because I wanted to sacrifice my summer in respect to Him sacrificing His Son. I just went.You...But Jesus did sacrifice... a lot (read Bible for more)! And yet, we still think our lives are our own. He bought your life with His own and He wants to continue His mission in this world through us to reach the lost and build His people and grow His family!
Sometimes our hearts are not completely in line with His - especially when it's such a large and sacrificial decision, but we at least owe Him obedience.
Put aside your feelings, fear, pride, and consider this rare opportunity.Consider going on a Summer Mission with Cru.